The Kaplans, who met each other through a matchmaker, got married on New Year's Eve. (Photo courtesy of Richard and Rachel Kaplan.)

After getting divorced, Rachel Kaplan of Pittsburgh didn’t have much time to find Mr. Right while taking care of her daughter and working. Kaplan tried online dating, but didn’t feel comfortable on the blind dates and often questioned whether the men were truly whom they claimed to be.

Finally, a friend who met her husband through a matchmaker suggested Kaplan go to one. She thought getting help from a matchmaker would ensure that she would only go on dates worth her time.

On Christmas Eve in 2009 she met Richard Kaplan, the first date she was set up on. Within two years, Richard and Rachel were walking down the aisle.

At one time the Kaplans may have been embarrassed about hiring a matchmaker, but they said they were eager to start the process.

“I had felt very optimistic and open about the experience,” Rachel Kaplan says. “In a modern world where everything seems to involve technology, something old fashioned like matchmaking is refreshing and can be exciting.”

Matchmaking has been around for centuries, but professionals say it has only become more high profile in recent years. At one time, matchmaking was not considered an appropriate way to meet people, but today there less of a stigma attached to finding a partner through a matchmaker.

As a result, matchmaking services are proliferating. As the business becomes conventional and lucrative, more people are also attempting to start a career in the field.

When a client meets a matchmaker for the first time, they go through an interview that lasts approximately an hour. During this process, the matchmaker learns what the client wants and needs in a partner. The matchmaker will then find suitable dates either from looking in a database, scouting for potential suitors on the street or networking with friends and other matchmakers. Depending on the matchmaker and the amount of work that needs to be done, a client can pay between $5,000 and $500,000 for a year of services.

There are several reasons why matchmaking has become more popular in recent years, including the disappointment with online dating, matchmakers say.

Online dating can be deceptive and doesn’t offer a personalized experience, says the Kaplans’ matchmaker, Susan Dunhoff, who has run her business, the Modern Matchmaker, for approximately 20 years.

There used to be a misconception that people who go to matchmakers are desperate and cannot get a date, but that myth is starting to disappear, Dunhoff says.
“All of our clients can get a date,” she says. “They want to get the right date.”

Reality TV has helped too, matchmakers say. Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” which first aired in 2008, has raised many Americans’ interest in the profession.

The show has made finding a partner through a matchmaker more acceptable and has familiarized people with the matchmaking process, says Suzanna Oshima, matchmaker and dating coach at Dream Bachelor and Bachelorette in New York City. The notion that people are desperate is dispelled after watching the show because host Patti Sanger’s clients are attractive, she says.

The show has taken away the stigma of matchmaker,” Oshima says. “Before the show there was still that, ‘Hush, hush, don’t tell anyone you’re going to a matchmaker.’ People will actually search on the Internet for matchmakers now.”

She says all her male clients are so busy they don’t have time to try online dating or to meet someone in the bar and nightclub scene.

“We bring them high quality women,” Oshima says.

There has been a change in attitude among the clients of matchmakers, says Sherri Murphy, the CEO of Elite Connections in Los Angeles, which opened 18 years ago. Murphy’s own husband, whom she found through a matchmaker, never told anyone how they met. She even had clients who refused to put their photos in the books because they were afraid their friends might find out.

“I think people used to be embarrassed when they came in, like, ‘I’m a loser if I have to go to a matchmaker to get a partner,’” says Murphy, who is opening offices in New York City and Miami.

The TV show has also encouraged more people to become matchmakers themselves. There are even companies that sprouted in recent years that offer certification to become a matchmaker. Both Murphy and Oshima say they often receive calls from people who want to get hired in their companies.

People mistakenly think matchmaking is an easy way to make money and that it is a glamorous career, Oshima says. Though her job is fun, she says it’s tough because she has to be available for her clients’ needs on a regular basis.

“They don’t realize it’s hard work,” Oshima says. “A lot of people try to get jobs in the industry who don’t have experience, and I’ve hired a couple people and it just doesn’t work out.”

Many years ago, Sanger, the “The Millionaire Matchmaker” host, used to be an assistant to Janis Spindel of Serious Matchmaking in New York City, whose male clients can pay anywhere between $100,000 and $500,000 for a year. Spindel, who has been in the business approximately 21 years, says that people often call her to pick her brain about the matchmaking industry because it has become so lucrative.

“There are more people that just hang a shingle outside and think they can become a matchmaker because they have a sign that says, ‘Matchmaker,’” she says, “You can’t teach someone to be a matchmaker. You either have it or you don’t.”

Email: zr2156@columbia.edu