(Photo: Ian Britton/FreeFoto.com)

Piles of impeccably-wrapped presents and custom-made favors. Mile-long wish lists and food, flowers and cake for a hundred. Shining flatware and crystalline chandeliers. These are not the whims and wants of the rich and famous; they are the modern pre-wedding preparations of some of today’s young and betrothed.

The majority of weddings in the U.S. are held between May and September. If conventional wisdom holds true — that bridal showers must take two months to two weeks before the wedding — then bridesmaids throughout the country are checking their datebooks and eyeing their bank accounts for the coming onslaught of wedding-related events and expenses.

Friends and families of the bride-to-be shelled out nearly $430 million for showers in 2008 alone, according to The Wedding Report, a wedding-industry research firm. That same year, bridal showers out-priced bachelorette parties (about $390 million), bachelor parties (about $360 million) and engagement parties (about $325 million), second in cost only to rehearsal dinners, the value of which towered at $1.2 billion.

Authors of “Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding,” Cele Otnes and Elizabeth Hafkin Pleck place bridal showers’ origin in the U.S. in the 1890s, among upper-middle class women who sought to outfit their bride-to-be with a dowry of all she would need as a “cook, housewife and sexual partner.” Sharon Naylor, author of over 35 wedding-themed books, including a bridal registry workbook and a budget wedding guide, confirms that “it’s long been a tradition for relatives to give the marrying couple the comforts of home, and items to build their chances of happiness and prosperity. Years and years ago, that meant bolts of fabric to make their own clothes. A few chickens so that they can have eggs and make their own comfortable beds.”

Showers have evolved with the times, she says. “Now, we have egg-shaped vodka glasses and Tempurpedic pillows on brides’ and grooms’ wishlists.”

If a dowry started out as a mere shower, today it has developed into a thunderstorm. Yet the couples who choose chicken over filet mignon, DJ over cover band, and satin over silk are the same couples who grow trigger-happy when the scan gun — the inventory scanner used for tagging merchandise at department stores from Bloomie’s to Bed, Bath & Beyond — is placed in their hands at the Registry desk. One doesn’t have to look much further than a conversation chain titled “Most Expensive and Least Expensive Registry Item” on TheKnot.com, a popular wedding-planning Web site. Among the $399 Swarovski crystal champagne flutes, an $800 digital SLR camera, a $700 Miele dog and cat vacuum cleaner, couples also added a USB drive, $7 potholders and a set of tea-light candles.

These days, chick flicks like “Bride Wars” gross over $58 million at the box office despite contemptible ratings. The New York Times reported in October that celebrity Ivanka Trump listed, among her three bridal registries, some inexpensive William Sonoma spatulas, Crate & Barrel glasses and placemat sets …  and a $1,350 sterling silver Tiffany bowl. “Platinum Weddings,” a reality show on the WE (Women’s Entertainment) Network, chronicles the preparation of weddings with 1,100-plus guests and million-dollar budgets, while “Bridezillas,” another WE hit, spotlights the manic demands and desires of women as they prepare their walk down the aisle.

Such coverage cultivates a desire for the extraordinary in those who are not  reality TV stars. Christine Lichota, a 27-year-old construction company office supervisor, was married in 2009 at St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue. Before the wedding, her mother and future mother-in-law threw a $10,000 shower at Russo’s on the Bay, a columned, Romanesque catering hall in Howard Beach, Queens, that featured all the trimmings, from an attendant photographer and DJ to a pre-party cocktail hour and ceramic flower favors for each guest. Of her favorite registry picks, she says “I was and still am pretty much obsessed with my china. I got literally every piece that they make.” Their families, she said, “made sure I had the whole collection, and doubled and tripled some pieces in case they break.”

Some experts feel stocking a registry with only the premium gadgets, goods and trinkets is poor strategy. Wedding author Naylor says “Guests get angry when all you have on your registry is the pricey stuff. Sure, you can have china and crystal—it’s wonderful to have for special occasion — but it’s OK to have lots more stuff in an affordable range.” However, she does suggest brides should still include more expensive items. “Luggage sets, cookware sets and bedding sets, or a top-brand vacuum or steamer, load them up! Groups of friends and the bridal party now look for these big-ticket items so they can divide the cost. … When the gift is revealed at the shower, it impresses you and your guests.”

Emily Gerhardt, 25, a legal assistant in Philadelphia, has planned five showers for friends and family members within the last year and a half. Each of the fetes took at least a month of planning. One of the most elaborate was an extravaganza that mixed a bridal shower and Mehndi, a traditional Hindu pre-wedding ritual, for an Indian bride and Chinese-American groom. Gerhardt called the planning “intense. Two different cultures that they mixed into one big party!” Of the cost, which she almost always covered out of pocket and in full, Gerhardt says it “can get expensive because people notice details. At all the parties, I made sure there was fresh flowers. I didn’t want someone to say something like ‘They skimped out on the flowers!’ I made sure the napkins coordinated with the forks and knives and bowls.”

Despite the recession, showers are on an upswing, says Richard Markel, president of the Association for Wedding Professionals International, a wedding service group and referral agency. “Even though there is a budget crunch, this is something that the bride does not have to pay for,” he says.   “It’s another way for brides to be able to garner gifts without necessarily inviting everybody — second cousins, etc. — to the wedding.”

In fact, many bridal showers have increased in size and scope in relation to the economy. “More and more brides are integrating traditional showers with a sort of lace-covered sweatshop, where beloved friends and family members agree to come enjoy food and drink while performing various wedding preparatory acts such as filling out name-cards to assembling invitations or party favors,” says Jeffrey Sumber, a psychotherapist who runs a premarital-counseling practice in Chicago. “So the value is not just emotional any longer, but serves a truly economic function as well.”

Recession or no, the bridal shower and its accompanying modern dowry seem to prosper, and, many believe, with good reason. “I think every girl should have a shower, if it’s possible,” says Lichota, the newlywed who enjoyed the dazzling ten-grand pre-wedding get-together. “It is the best way to get started on your new beginning with your soon-to-be husband.”